Your resistance is keeping you stuck

When recovering from fatigue, resistance can manifest in two ways: we may resist the very practices that help us heal, or we may resist the symptoms themselves. Both stem from the same source: our nervous system trying to protect us.

At the beginning of my recovery from chronic fatigue, I embraced many techniques and methods that supported my nervous system and restored my sense of calm. Over time, however, I began to feel resistant to these healing practices — the very routines that were meant to help me. Sometimes, after a breathwork or relaxation session, I didn’t experience any immediate effects and started to question their value. That’s normal. Like brushing your teeth, these small daily actions help to regulate the nervous system, even when you can't see the results.

It was something I had to do every day, and missing a day didn't seem like a big deal. But that's not true: one missed day might not feel bad, but after one day it's another day, and suddenly you skip it altogether. And there goes your beautiful routine that helped you improve. I can miss a day, but it's better if I do it every day and develop a sense of gratitude towards these practices. They are like brushing your teeth: They're not what I want to do before going to bed, but they keep my nervous system in balance. Don't be tricked by your inner voice that says, 'You can skip today'; it isn't laziness, it's your body's protective mechanism. This resistance to healing doesn't mean you're failing. It means your nervous system doesn't yet feel completely safe with these new habits.

This voice is trying to protect you from something it perceives as dangerous. But it doesn't mean it's dangerous at all. It just means it's new. Our brain doesn't want us to leave our comfort zone, so it tells us not to change or try new things. This can be frustrating, but that's just how it is. We can trick ourselves into liking discomfort when we start doing it anyway, and over time our attitude will change.

First of all, what really helped me was doing it anyway, and secondly, taking small steps. Meditating every day can be difficult at first, but doing it for just 5 minutes is easy. The more regularly you do it, the easier it will become and the more normal it will feel. Soon, you will be able to practice for longer.

Why can't I be normal?

Another very common thought is: 'Why can't I just not take an afternoon nap and be normal?' Why do I even need this? Or do a one-hour breathwork session every day? Normal people don't need this to function. It wasn't just about feeling upset; I felt compromised. I felt like I had to do these things just to function. But actually, they helped me to heal and learn healthier ways of relating to myself, my body and my soul. These practices were real gifts that kept on giving, making me happier and healthier every day that I practiced them.

Why It’s So Hard to Embrace What Helps

One big reason was that I believed my body was a machine that needed to function. I couldn't see that my body and nervous system had been under massive amounts of stress for years without ever relaxing or feeling calm. The only time I really felt at ease was when I practised the Body Scan or Yoga Nidra. This technique helped me, and I now think that so-called 'normal people' are either much more relaxed by nature or don't exist at all. I had compared myself to an imaginary norm despite having experienced severe trauma. My body, mind, and nervous system needed to be regulated, every damn day.

Your resistance is keeping you stuck.

Resistance also shows up as frustration with our symptoms themselves. There’s a saying that always stuck with me: “What you resist, persists.” It’s painfully true. When you’re living with chronic fatigue, your symptoms can feel like a constant battle. Some days you win, some days you don’t. You just want them to stop.

Accepting them seems almost counterintuitive. How could you? It's not easy, but real and lasting change will only happen when you stop fighting your symptoms and accepting what your nervous system is doing and how you feel about it. Those symptoms aren’t enemies; they’re signals from your nervous system. My body wasn’t broken, it was protecting me after years of being constantly . Accepting that was one of the hardest parts of recovery. It feels almost impossible to stop fighting something that hurts so much. But real healing only started when I began to accept what my body was doing, instead of resisting it.

I had to learn this lesson again and again. Even after progress, resistance came back in new forms. Each time, I reminded myself: this is normal. Once I saw it for what it was I was able to accept what was happening and shift my attitude. Shifting from resisting my symptoms and the practices that alleviated them to an attitude of gratitude, helped me relax and feel more at ease.

Why fight something that is actually helping and supporting you in the first place? I know from experience that chronic fatigue doesn't feel like your nervous system is doing you a favour; it feels like your body is playing tricks on you, and you don't know how or why it started. Today, I try to see my resistance as a normal part of the process.

When Self-Care Feels Like a To-Do List

For me, self-care was just another thing I had to endure. I couldn't enjoy it; it felt like a necessity rather than a pleasure. But how can we truly relax if we’re angry at the very things that help us?

Changing my attitude towards self-care turned my mindset from "This is annoying and I hate it" to "Wow, I have all these wonderful tools to take care of myself" and "I can achieve these amazing states of ease and calm that I have never known before". That small reframe turned annoyance into gratitude.

Today, when I feel resistance, I try not to fight it. I simply notice it and try to see accept it. That shift from resistance to acceptance and gratitude is what keeps me steady on my nervous system healing path.