Your resistance is keeping you stuck

At the beginning of my recovery journey, I embraced many techniques and methods that calmed my nervous system and restored my sense of calm. However, as I became healthier, I grew to hate them. I thought to myself: Why can't I just be normal and not take an afternoon nap? Or do a one-hour breathwork session every day? It wasn't just about feeling upset; I felt compromised. I felt like I had to do these things just to function. But actually, they helped me heal, and they also helped me learn new, healthier ways of relating to myself, my body, and my soul. These practices were real gifts that kept on giving, making me happier and healthier.

Why was it so hard to embrace them?

One big reason was that I fell victim to the belief that my body was a machine that needed to function. I couldn't see that my body and nervous system had been under massive amounts of stress for years without ever relaxing or feeling calm. The only time I really felt at ease was when I did the Body Scan practice. This technique helped me, and I imagine that so-called 'normal people' are much more relaxed than I ever was. I had compared myself to the norm when I had actually experienced severe trauma. My body, mind and nervous system needed more work to become regulated.

Your resistance is keeping you stuck

There's a beautiful slogan: 'What you resist, persists.' This is true of many things in recovery and in life. It's the hardest lesson of all. Your symptoms are painful, and it feels like an exhausting battle where you sometimes win and sometimes lose. Real and lasting change will only happen when you stop fighting. I had to learn this lesson time and time again. Once I changed my attitude, shifting from resisting my symptoms and the methods that lifted them to an attitude of gratitude, I felt better and more at ease. Why fight something in the first place that actually is helping and supporting you?